Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
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think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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