The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
