So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize