she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
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She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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