I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
