Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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