no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
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His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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