He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
