That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
