She said her name was "party"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
