the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
