why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just had sex on a roof
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
