last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
