Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
