Don't you send me to vm
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
