when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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