Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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