I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
