I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
