I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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