you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
