Please, let me fuck your mom
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
