First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.