I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize