Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
