It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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