i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize