Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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