my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
