I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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