Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He kissed a someone with a penis
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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