Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
