I feel like I'm in dance class right now
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
