Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize