CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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