I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize