If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
