I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
