Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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