We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize