Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
