I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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