worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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