they need to just BURY HIM!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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