i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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