So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Acid is not a monday night drug
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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