yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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