You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
