Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
