We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
