Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
