3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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