so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My cat gives me a boner
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
