whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
