My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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