Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize