I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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