I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
