don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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