I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
