I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
