That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
