You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
