Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
