in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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